Day Twenty: Meditate.
In the end, we all get exactly what we ask for… So, you better think hard on it and then be very specific in your asking.
It’s a part of me and my life; the constant pinging of my blackberry all day. The reading and replying to the emails and text messages. I’ve come to love communication. In many ways it serves as a mental departure from all that is going on in life. But, I have an equal affinity for time spent with my phone on silent, with my journal in hand, deep in reflection and thought. I enjoy being able to clear my head of everything else in the world, to isolate myself and to delve deep into the confines of my mind. It’s my way of avoiding a longstanding tendency towards regression.
When I was young, I was considered
somewhat of a hothead. I would get so emotional, so riled and I would lose my temper and would fuss and argue and get angry and would constantly find myself on the verge of hyperventilation. It was the saddest scene, but, it was the most honest part of me. I did not understand how to process what I was going through. Helplessness often brings about our truest emotions. I used to feel like I had no other way to cope with things than to simply roll up in a ball, pout, and then be the most ornery individual to be around.
It’s been years since I’ve done any of that. It’s a complete 180 in terms of the way I handle stress and confrontation. People who’ve only known me as an adult comment on how they never see me yell. I’m not into yelling; I’m seldom into arguing. I’m generally the one capable of keeping a level head and analyzing the situation before reacting.
It’s been a long journey.
A few years go, after continually finding myself with hurt feelings, I decided that none of my decisions moving forward would be based in emotion. Emotions are great in their purpose; they enlighten us to our bias towards empathy. But, they should never be used as a basis for decision making. There’s a rather superfluous nature about emotions of which I care not to allow to overtake my mindset.
I’ve made it a practice of listening to Earl Nightingale’s audiobook “Lead the Field” at least once a month. There’s one concept that I’ve taken away from it that drives me on a daily basis; Thinking. It’s the simplest ideal, but one i’ve come to realize many people don’t seem to apply to their lives too often. I’ve come to realize the truth in his words, that people often never think, but rather react. Many people, if they’re honest, never think.
Devoid of emotion or a concern for other people’s reactions, I choose to drown out the world and think. No crying, no anger, no frustration. Just meditation. I don’t think to arrive at a decision, but rather to arrive at greater clarity. I’ve come to understand that many of the decisions I need to make that are thought upon are already in front of me.
There is much that is elementary about what we need to do. We simply can’t see what we need to do because we have too much emotion attached to the thought process. It’s a practice I’ve tried to do away with; the motion of beginning to reflect, only to be bombarded by feelings associated with the surrounding situation.
I want to grow into a better processor of thoughts. I want to be even clearer in my understanding of self, so that I am capable to know which direction my thinking should go in and how I can better come to the aid of those around me who seek guidance. There’s a certain altruism associated with meditation in that it allows you to be better suited to assist others as your mind is now free.
Meditation, for me, allows for the subtle nuances that may be a hindrance to otherwise good thinking to drift away, and allow me to then see situations for what they really are. It allows me to regard things that are occurring in my life to be put into proper perspective. There’s a sense of gratitude that goes along with the meditation process, a reality that I’m blessed to be of sound enough mind to even collect thoughts to be processed. It takes the seemingly major trials of life and reduces them to compact scenarios of which I can see clearly enough to resolve.